I went through my girlfriend’s emails and found out that she had an abortion
DEAR DEIDRE: I went through my girlfriend’s emails and found out that she had had an abortion before, but she didn’t tell me about it.
The child was with her ex, who she had been with for three years. She never said anything about it.
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I realize that this is part of her past but I have the impression that she hid it from me.
We are both 25 years old and cannot meet too often due to the long distance between us.
I think it’s an important part of her personal story, but she never said a word. Should I tell him about it?
DEIDRE SAYS: Why did you check his emails? It was an unacceptable indiscretion, bordering on controlling behavior.
Abortion might be a painful part of her story that she would rather forget.
The experience is part of what makes her the person you care about today, and I suggest you respect her feelings about when to talk about it.